How To Abuse The Power of Batman
by neon-watches
Summary: Blaine wants to go to Comic-Con. Kurt thinks Blaine is a dork and will do anything to get out of his damn costume and into some normal clothes. Blaine's kinda persuasive.


"Nana nana nana nana, nana nana nana nana BATMAAAAAAN!" Blaine sang as he pranced around his living room. He made a loud _woosh _sounds as he jumped onto couch cushions and tables, his dark cape flying behind him. He paused for a moment to adjust his mask and took off again.

"Hurry up, Kurt! We're going to be late for comic-con!" The Batman impersonator yelled.

He stepped up to a mirror to admire himself. The tights he wore showed off his perfectly toned legs while the shirt did nothing to hide his muscles. A gold utility belt was fastened securely around his waist and the cape and mask gave off an aura of mystery. He puffed out his chest, proudly displaying the bat symbol and set one of his boot-clad feet onto the coffee table.

Blaine smiled excitedly and leaped up the stairs two at a time before banging on the bathroom door.

"Come ON, Kurt!" He shouted impatiently.

There was a sound of elastic snapping and an angry huff from inside the bathroom.

"Blaine, I thought I told you I wasn't doing this when you bought the costumes." An irritated voice replied.

"Blaine's not here. It's Batman." Blaine replied in a gravelly, low, voice.

"Really Blaine? You really just went there?" Kurt asked through the door. Then he chuckled. "My boyfriend is such a dork."

Blaine yanked his mask off with a frown. "Come on, Kurt! You know how much I love comic-con!" He whined.

"I'm sorry. I love you Blaine but I refuse to dress like a weirdo and spend the day conversing with other people dressed like weirdoes." Kurt responded.

"What? Are you kidding me? I'm not the one who dressed like Lady Gaga for a week at school!" The younger teen retorted.

"That's different! Lady Gaga is an artist! Not some made up super friend for lonely children!" His boyfriend argued.

"Batman is a billionaire-slash-superhero and has save millions of people from complete and utter doom." Blaine shouted angrily.

"Then why doesn't Batman go to comic-con with one of them?" Kurt asked.

Blaine sighed. "Becaaaaaaauuuuuuuse, Batman needs his partner!"

"I thought Robin was his partner!" The brunette groaned.

"The costume store didn't carry Robin. I told you that!" The costume-clad boy replied.

There was silence for a second. Blaine smiled when he heard a zipper being pulled up and clapped excitedly.

"You're putting it on!" He said giddily.

Kurt sighed when he saw himself in the bathroom mirror.

"I'm not going. Definitely a no." He said.

Blaine's face fell. "Come ooooon! Batman needs his sexy, crime-fighting damsel of doom!"

Kurt didn't respond for a while and all that could be heard was the click clack of heels.

"I was just about to come out. Then you said that. You better bring me a sandwich Blaine because I'm never coming out and I'd rather not starve." The countertenor said in annoyance.

Blaine pounded on the door. "Kurt, if you don't come out, I'll have no choice but to use my exploding bat-discs to annihilate the door." He warned.

"Wow. I'm shaking in my bat-boots." His boyfriend replied sarcastically.

Blaine decided to try a different approach and grinned seductively, forgetting Kurt couldn't see him. "If you come out we can play superhero later. You can be the hot criminal and I'll tie you up with my bat-rope-."

"And then we can bat-fuck on the bat-bed with the bat-lube." Kurt giggled.

"Okay, now you're just being disrespectful to the bat symbol." Blaine pouted.

"_I'm_ being disrespectful? I'm not the one jumping on furniture like a seven year old singing the Batman theme song and making swoosh noises with my cape." The older boy retorted.

"Come on, Kurt! We'll miss Stan Lee!" Blaine whined.

"I already told you I'm not leaving the bathroom." Kurt stated.

The raven-haired boy sighed. "Why not." He demanded to know.

"I look like the fantasy of nerd with a leather fetish who spends all his time reading comic books!" The brunette cried.

"Oh now you're just exaggerating. It's not that bad." Blaine scoffed.

"Are you kidding me? Cat Woman is more conservative than this costume is!" His boyfriend exclaimed.

The head Warbler rolled his eyes. "At least let me see it." He requested.

Kurt hesitantly opened the door and slowly walked out. Blaine's eyes widened and he grabbed onto the doorknob of a nearby closet to avoid jumping his boyfriend. The brunette blushed self-consciously and shifted awkwardly in his spot. He was wearing black tights underneath a purple, skin-tight leather dress; the skirt only went halfway down his thighs. A golden utility belt much like Blaine's rested lopsided on his hips and a bat insignia stood out in bright gold on his chest. His black gloves matched his boots, which stopped just above the knee and had a three-inch heel. Underneath his mask/hood he wore a wig of wavy chestnut locks. A black and gold cape fell just below his waist.

Blaine blushed and tried to keep his front covered with his cape.

Kurt smirked and placed a hand on his hip. "Holy hot-and-bothered, Batman!" He teased.

Blaine scowled. "Shut up. Can we just go now?" He asked.

The Batgirl shook his head. "No, Blaine. There are so many things wrong with this outfit I could write it all down and publish it as a novel. What makes you think I would go out in public like this?" He wanted to know.

"Because it's cool!" Blaine said enthusiastically.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Honey, this right here. It's about as cool as lava." He told him.

Blaine's face darkened. "Batgirl, you will get in the Batmobile this instant!" He growled in his Batman voice.

The older boy raised an eyebrow. "You did not just call your car the Batmobile." He said in disbelief.

"That's it!" Blaine shouted. "I'm carrying you." He stated, taking a step towards his boyfriend.

Kurt scowled and took a step back. "Unless you want a bat-bitch-slap I suggest backing away." He hissed.

"Please?" The shorter boy begged, getting on his knees. He had run out of ideas.

The countertenor looked down at his boyfriend, feeling a little pity for him and crossed his arms. "What's in it for me?" He inquired.

Blaine thought for a moment. "How about a bat-blow job and the biggest hug you've ever seeeeeeeeeeeen." He offered with a pleading smile.

Kurt chuckled. "What's so special about a bat-blow job?" He asked in amusement.

"There is a distinct difference." Blaine replied impatiently.

"Yeah but what-."

"DAMMIT KURT! IT'S GOT THE WORD BAT IN FRONT OF IT! YOU KNOW IT'LL BE AWESOME NO MATTER WHAT!" Blaine shouted impatiently.

Kurt laughed. "Alright. Throw in a pair of Gucci bat-boots and you've go yourself a deal." He said.

Blaine yelped in excitement and covered Kurt in kisses. "Iloveyousomuchwe''tregretthis!" He exclaimed in one breath.

"We better not see anyone we know there." Kurt grumbled.

The Batman bounced ecstatically. "Don't worry, we won't."

I'm having second thoughts about continuing this. Change my mind with some reviews?

**Also, I love comic books. Please do not feel offended by anything I have written, it's just for the story.**


End file.
